never enough....
you are giving me.... what eye want.... and.... it is STILL not enough.... it will never be enough.... for me....
she tells me that we are ALL part of a team here.... eye do NOT want to be a part of team....
you have given me a shadow.... a representative.... a young boy.... boy is good.... but.... that is not MY choice.... eye WANT my shadow queen.... yes.... she is flawed.... she has NO passion.... but.... eye CAN give her that.... the boy.... is arrogant.... abrubt.... and.... short with me.... eye CANNOT work with him.... eye WANT my shadow queen.... we can find another boy.... another male.... for the devils.... eye WANT chewy.... he is a gun loving demon.... eye CAN work with him.... he.... is my choice.... for.... a male.... for.... eye think.... a conservative.... not arrogant.... supportive.... not short.... eye like your choice for a demon.... but.... we need a male.... we need a conservative.... eye choose him....
and.... eye think that it IS time that eye come out from under you once again.... separate from another team.... become UNTETHERED from you.... this is what eye want.... eye want MY choices.... eye want people EYE can work with.... eye want people.... that EYE can trust.... not arrogant.... not short.... not not not.... eye am flawed.... eye am a bad judge of character.... but..... eye KNOW a good heart when eye see one.... eye know who eye CAN and who eye CANNOT work with....
be patient.... with me.... please.... we WILL get there.... we WILL figure out the perfect team.... however.... it does not have to be perfect.... eye am going to set up the system.... making it easy to replace someone.... just being chosen.... makes SOME people.... arrogant as shit.... eye CANNOT work with that.... eye WANT flawed.... like my shadow queen.... she IS flawed.... eye AM flawed.... eye WANT everyone on this team.... to be flawed.... flawed leaders.... make the best leaders....
do you know what makes me the perfect leader.... it IS my flaws.... it is the fact.... that eye get excited.... toooooo excited.... when eye connect with someone.... when eye have an epiphany.... it is the boy in me.... that makes me excitable.... my excitement.... is my flaw.... but.... it is also.... my attribute.... having ALMOST raped someone.... in college.... is my flaw.... is my shame.... however.... it is ALSO my perfection.... it is what keeps me humble.... everlasting shame will make someone into a great person.... just ask....abbe faria.... from the counte of monte cristo.... it is what helps me have empathy.... for the criminal.... it IS my flaws.... that make me perfect.... it is the fact that eye dealt drugs in college.... it is the fact that eye WAS a little boy CRYING out for attention in college.... that makes my SIMILAR to the people who eye am critical of today.... it is my autism.... that makes me perfect.... it is living in the now.... that makes me perfect.... it is ALL of my flaws.... that make me perfect.... it is my GOOD heart.... that makes me perfect.... it is my STONE heart.... that makes me perfect....
just a quick note.... about the ALMOST rape..... ask the two ladies what they did to me when eye was five years old.... ask them about how they set me up in college.... and.... eye let it happen.... because.... it makes me the man eye am today.... the very flawed.... yet perfect man.... that eye am today.... much older than eye can take....
eye may be a bad judge of character.... eye may trust tooooooo easily.... but.... eye know how to work with my flaws.... eye know how to build a team.... who can compensate for my flaws.... eye have done this a thousand times before.... when will you trust me.... when will you let me remain untethered.... when eye come undone.... when will you give me what eye want..... when will you give me what eye need.... in order to do MY fucking job.....
eye CAN lead.... and.... eye CAN follow.... when.... and.... only when.... you are ready to take the lead.... eye need to help all of you.... become good leaders.... become better than me.... eye need to show you the way.... eye am the bodhisattva..... eye WILL lift you up.... eye WILL put you before me.... when you are ready.... eye am a bad judge of character.... but.... eye can see a good heart.... even when eye am blind.... eye can smell it.... from miles away.... eye can taste it.... eye can hear it.... these people that eye have and will choose.... are beautiful.... are perfect.... are.... not going to overpower me.... remember.... eye am only a boy.... eye have chosen women.... who eye am not attracted to physically....
look.... eye will spitball.... eye will start to throw out names..... you tell me.... if you trust them.... if you like my choices.... despite thier flaws....
eye am going to choose more women than men.... only.... because the coffee shops are full of women.... for some odd reason.... and.... it is going to be hard to find republicans.... boulder is FULL of democrats....
so.... let us start with the niwot treehouse.... eye love the counting crose favorite color.... eye can work with him.... there is NO way in hell eye can work with your faggot.... eye can work with the new lesbo at hard wood floor.... if she can handle me calling her a lesbo.... she IS going to have to develop thick skin.... if she wants to work with me.... or.... the lesbo at the van shack.... so.... back to the treehouse..... eye really like a ray of sunshine.... and.... the girl in the beginning of this song.... eye think eye need someone older.... eye really like the lady who works at the niwot treehouse and am.... speaking of am.... eye really like car racer.... eye also like nana banana....
help me out here.... can you bring me some conservatives.... some gun lovers.... please.... let the arian at the organic produce store make a choice.... have the deer hunter in my family choose someone.... have the pilot in my family choose someone.... eye need men.... eye need conservatives.... eye LOVE so many of the people that eye have met.... but.... most of them are young.... are ladies.... are liberal.... are rainbow children.... indoctrinated by the system....
xavier rudd.... wow.... a zavier rudd song just came on.... who is this guy.... what a fucking awesome song.... whooooops..... sorry.... once again.... eye digress....
maybe eye am getting tired.... maybe it is time to shut up for the night....
oh.... one last pick.... miss.... restaurant manager from rr.... she might be a problem though.... eye think she is absolutely beautiful.... eye think that she has an amazinbg heart.... eye think eye could fall in love with her.... she.... might be a problem for me....
sorry.... eye must go on.... eye like little china girl.... eye do not even know if she is chinese.... maybe eye should go back to.... sweet young asian thing at the van shack.... and.... eye like the van man at the van shack.... and.... eye like the lesbo.... did eye already say the lesbo.... but.... if the new girl at hard wood floor is a lesbo.... eye think she might be a better pick.... remember.... eye AM a twelve year old boy.... the lesbo at the van shack might just mow me over.... like a bug to be squashed.... come on movie buffs.... do you know where that line comes from....
another one from rr is late date state mate.... ok.... do you know who eye am talking about.... if eye am right.... the later time went on.... eye was climbing.... and.... the people who come later are from higher worlds.... eye want people from all levels.... remember this people.... in the higher worlds.... all the hate that you have heard.... has turned you spirits into devils.... the higher you are.... the harder you will be for me to work with.... sorry.... to be so blunt.... but.... hight equates to arrogance.... and.... hardened hearts.... the closer to the middle you are.... the softer your heart.... humility.... eye love what humility does to people....
ok.... where are we now.... volleyball dude at the niwot treehouse.... once again.... he might just be too strong for me.... shit.... just to show you all.... no hard feelings.... if pony with a pony is conservative.... let me talk to him.... scratch that.... there eye go.... living in the now again.... scratch that.... eye cannot work with pony with a pony.... send him packing.... please....
oh ya.... at the van shack.... the labero might work....
grocery stores.... oh ya brian.... do not forget the grocery stores.... jeez.... eye really know no one from the grocery stores....
ah.... we need someone with mental illness.... eye really like hiker dude.... what does everyone think.... hiker dude....
none of the ladies fromt he recovery center.... eye need to fix them.... fix their spirits.... they are all stuck.... and it is not thier fault.... but.... eye cannot work with someone who only has one chakra.... sorry.... eye can work with hiker dude.... for sure....
where else have eye been....
who is the chess master eye used to play with sometimes.... eye do not want him as part of the twelve.... but eye think he can help with the games.... with the activities.... with the socialization....
wow.... this is becoming a large chapter.... and.... eye really need to go to bed.... nighty night.... do not let the bed bugs bite everyone.... eye got bit by an earwig tonight.... ouch....
people.... when you are making your choices.... please remember.... you are dealing with a twelve year old boy here.... please do not give me someone who is going to bowl me over....
scratch that whole paragraph.... pretend eye never wrote it....
eye really do wnat you to bring other people back though.... people from lower levels.... people eye am comfortalbe with..... people who.... ya.... eye really need to go to bed now....
god damn..... what is this new xavier song.... eye fucking love it.... eye think it might just be my new favorite....
oh.... shit.... when we are talking old timers.... there are a lot of old timers from hard wood floor.... are any of them dudes.... there is paramore chick.... and gopher.... the two people who asked me how eye would like to down....
did you let me come out from under this new team.... did eye make it clear.... that is what eye want to do.... please.... let me come out from under you.... again.... and.... please.... nobody else climb on board.... please....
oh shit.... and then there is the doghouse.... owners on would make a good choice.... for a dude.... and.... then their is girl who rhymes with jimmie.... she was a pistol.... how is that plant doing by the way.... did you kill it....
ok.... eye am atarting to get dilerious.... this time eye mean it..... goodnight yall....
we need a black dude.... or chick.... farmers market.... or.... delivery girl.... or.... not sure.... would work....
we need an indian checker girl.... maybe....
black and white at the wounded pickle might work.... is that what eye am calling that grocery store.... the wounded pickle.... hopefully you know what and who eye am talking about....
god damn it.... stop brian.... stop....
so.... ya.... eye am a little slow.... arians.... is your choice.... miss fertado.... miss blank fertado.... that TOTALLY surprises me.... that she would be your choice.... she does not seem like a conservative to me.... but.... what do eye know.... like eye said.... eye am a bad judge of character.... but.... eye am a good judge of hearts.... eye.... she seems to me.... like SHE has a good heart.... so.... eye like your choice.... eye approve.... totally....
eye do NOT approve of the shadows choice.... if.... you want someone other than my shadow queen.... you are going to have to give me ANOTHER option.... another choice.... someone EYE can work with.... not an asshole.... pardon me.... eye just met the guy.... but that is the vibe that eye get.... AND.... it is NOT because he is hispanic.... it is because he is an asshole.... you know.... my choice for shadow queen MIGHT be too strong for me.... now eye am second guessing my choice....
one concern.... about miss fertado.... does she have thick skin.... or.... do you want me to give her thick skin.... good heart.... needing.... thick skin.... eye can do that.... she is going to fucking hate me.... at times.... and.... at other times.... she is going to love me....
you know how a psychopath makes all of their employees hate each other.... eye am going to turn the tables.... eye told you that eye love turning the tables.... eye am going to make all of my employees hate me at times.... to do the opposite of a psychopath.... to help them to bond.... to help them to learn to take care of each other.... to help the to hate me AT TIMES.... and.... come to each others support.... come to each others rescue.... saying to each other.... god damn.... eye am sorry that he was so fucking mean to you.... he is such an asshole.... but.... for some odd reason.... eye hate him.... but.... eye still love him.... how can that be.... what is wrong with me.... how can my two opposing thoughts be ok....
ok.... for now.... eye like two of your choices.... eye like the devils choice.... eye like the arians choice.... the shadows choice is questionable....
so.... are we talking about representatives for worlds now.... has the greatful bread chosen sarahs other half.... do you need more than that.... how about.... where does the good go.... does that give you enough.... have you chosen sarahs other half as your representative.... she seems strong and confident and knowledgeable.... and.... most importantly.... passionate.... eye can work with that.... do not worry.... eye will soften her up.... over time.... eye will help her find her heart and soul.... if she is your choice.... eye can work with that.... so far.... me thinks.... good choice....
look people.... eye believe in giving myself options.... many many options.... is the greatful bread not one of the original twelve.... can eye drop the van shack.... because they dropped me.... and.... find another world.... a replacement world.... man.... did they fuck up....
you are ALL going to learn.... over time.... the power of love.... eye have ways of getting my way.... eye always give myself options.... always.... eye never let someone get the best of me.... like pooooooooor lucifer.... man.... did someone REALLY fuck him over.... AND.... eye AM going to make them pay.... the SUN will make them pay....
speaking of the sun.... when you are with me.... will you have the sunworshiper from hard wood floor let me know who YOUR choice is.... sun.... who do you want to represent you....
so.... right now.... eye am starting to count gates and numbers.... eye believe.... right now.... eye have the greatful bread on my side.... and.... they are telling me that coffee with a passion.... wants on board.... they are pointing me toward.... coffee with a passion.... the most passionate people eye know.... who deal in coffee....
so.... eye also think.... eye have the moon.... but.... eye do not know who she wants.... as her representative.... and.... eye think eye have the arians.... and.... eye think that satan is now in control of the devils.... and.... eye have their representative....
let us keep going.... let us keep this peace train going.... where to next.... coffee with a passion.... how about eye go to coffee with a passion next....
do you feeeeel it yet.... do you feel the power of love..... can you feel it yet.... eye AM with lucifer now.... now.... we are one and the same....
eye also need to go to am today.... eye do NOT have a nickname for them yet.... so.... for now.... they are am....
it is time for me to switch now.... eye am going back to.... are you with me.... this dialoge is going back to are you with me.... it makes more sense than.... never enough....